Date: 2026 Feb 8, (7:36 PM)
From: Use AI <hello@use.ai>
To: Ben Löcsei
Subject: So long, and thanks for visiting
Hi there, (hey, wassup?)
This is our last email. (Wait, what are you talking about? Is it something I said?)
You came looking for AI help. (I came looking at pictures of Sydney Sweeney).
You found Use AI. You almost joined 50,000+ people who are working smarter every day. (Hard to put a name on it, but I’m definitely developing some sort of FEAR OF MISSING OUT)
Almost. (The drama is real)
Maybe you're not ready. (They call me immature.) Maybe you don't see the value yet. (Now I’m ignorant too.) Maybe you're happy with the slow way. (And irrational.)
That's okay. (Phew.) When you're ready, we'll be here. (With a marketing team like this I seriously doubt that. Ever considered using AI?)
But if there's a small part of you thinking "what if?" (What if what?) this is your last chance to act on it. (You won’t accept my credit card next week?)
I see…
No more emails after this. (I doubt that but let’s remain optimistic) Just possibility. (This is getting weird.)
The Use AI Team (I doubt every single employee signed off on this)
P.S. That question you asked a week ago? (Yes? The one about Sydney Sweeney’s cup size?) It’s still waiting for an answer. (Wait… I have to answer the question myself? Then why do I need you? (it’s 32DD, some say DDD))” Just saying. (If this is an attempt to establish plausible deniability please get a new legal team.)
—
Go home Use AI. You're drunk.
